Eternal love between us two, Shall withstand the time apart.
Today is the 7th day of the 7th lunar month of the Chinese calendar, 七夕 (qī xī) in Chinese (pronounced "chee shuh" in Mandarin, I think). Literally "seventh evening", the first character is the number seven and the second character is a pictograph of a crescent moon.
There is a traditional Chinese holiday that falls on this day, sometimes called the Magpie Festival, among many other names. Qixi is often now referred to as 'Chinese Valentine's Day'. This holiday is not as widely celebrated in China as it once was, and the ways in which it is celebrated have changed to reflect the Western/Christian influence of the Saint Valentine's Day tradition. However, since it is a romantic holiday and today is my 15th wedding anniversary, I thought it would be fun to research the holiday and share the information here. Today also happens to mark exactly 4 months since we met our daughter face-to-face for the very first time. Definitely a day to celebrate love!
According to Wikipedia, this holiday is also known by the following names:
The Festival to Plead for Skills (乞巧節; qǐ qiǎo jié)
The Seventh Sister's Birthday (七姊誕; qī jiě dàn)
The Night of Skills (巧夕; qiǎo xī)
This Chinese festival shares common themes with the festivals of Tanabata in Japan, Chilseok in Korea, and That Tich in Vietnam. Here is a fascinating little article in China Daily today about modern version of the holiday and its history:
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-08/07/content_6914454.htm
The story behind the festival has many variations, but it is always about the Cowherd boy, Niulang, and the Weaver girl, Zhinu. Here is one of many variations of the story (courtesy of About.com and Wikipedia):
A peasant boy toiling by the riverside was tipped off by his cheeky companion, the ox, that seven celestial princesses were bathing in the river. The boy sneaked over to watch and was overcome by their beauty and fell immediately in love with the youngest princess, the seventh sister. He took her clothes and hid them and waited for the princesses to finish bathing. The older princesses dressed and flew back to the stars but the youngest couldn’t find her clothes. The peasant boy approached and told her of his love. Flattered by the youth’s ardor, the youngest princess agreed to marry him and stay on earth. They quickly married and lived very happily and eventually had two children. The great mother in the heavens was enraged that her youngest daughter, the one whose special job is was to weave the clouds, had been tricked into marriage by a mortal. Pulling out a hairpin, she cut a swathe in the sky that became the Milky Way. She swooped to earth and grabbed the happy family and threw them into the skies. The heavenly goddess threw her daughter to one side of the Milky Way (the star Vega) and the peasant boy on the other side (the star Altair) with his two children (Altair’s two neighbor stars). The family was split for all eternity. But the magpies of the world took pity on the couple. Each year, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, magpies fly up to the heavens to form a bridge so that so the lovers may be together for a single night. It is said that if it rains on the night of Qixi, they are the tears of Niulang and Zhinu - tears of happiness in being reunited and in sorrow of having to part once again.
Poem by Meng Jiao, Tang Dynasty
(I could not find the English translation of the above poem, but I liked the artwork)
Fairy Of The Magpie Bridge
by Qin Guan, Song Dynasty
Translation by Kylie Hsu:
Among the beautiful clouds,
Over the heavenly river,
Crosses the weaving maiden.
A night of rendezvous,
Across the autumn sky.
Surpasses joy on earth.
Moments of tender love and dream,
So sad to leave the magpie bridge.
Eternal love between us two,
Shall withstand the time apart.
So, how is this festival celebrated? This holiday, once out of fashion, seems to be making a comeback, but with modern twists and Western influences. Although I can't find specific reference, the more traditional celebration of this Chinese holiday may have gone out of fashion after the Cultural Revolution. This site had a lot of information on the holiday traditions: http://www.ebeijing.gov.cn/Culture/EnjoyBJ/t950627.htm
Here are some of the ways to celebrate Qixi that I came across:
Young people might go to a temple to pray for help finding a good mate, or couples may go to a temple to pray for blessings and for a possible marriage together.
In the evening, people sit outdoors to observe the stars (specifically Altair & Vega, which are at their closest point together of the year). Chinese grannies would say that, if you stand under a grapevine, you can probably overhear what ZhiNu and NiuLang are talking about.
Girls throw five-color ropes, made at the Chinese Dragon Boat festival, up onto their roof for the magpies. Magpies will carry the ropes to build the bridge across the heavens for the lovers.
In the past, young girls demonstrated their domestic arts and handicraft skills (as the princess was a weaver), including melon carving. There were weaving and embroidery demonstrations and competitions. Girls might have prayed to the gods for their handicraft skills to become better and pray to the princess for beauty. This was all in hopes of getting matched to a good husband, of course, and impressing him with her skills and beauty.
Young women would traditionally wash their hair on the night of the seventh day of the seventh lunar month in a rite of beauty.
Children wash their face in the next morning of the using the overnight water in their backyards to have a more naturally beautiful appearance.
A festoon was placed in the yard and the single or newly married women in the household made an offering to Niulang and Zhinu consisting of fruit, flowers, tea, and facial powder. After finishing the offering, half of the facial powder is thrown on the roof (for the Weaver girl) and the other half divided among the young women. It is believed by doing this the women are bound in beauty with Zhinu.
Another custom was for girls to thread a needle by the light of the moon, and those who managed to do so are said to be crafty in embroidery (or at least have sharp eyes - I added that part). A variation is for young girls to throw a sewing needle into a bowl full of water on the night - if the needle floats on top of the water instead of sinking, it is believed to be an indication of the girl's being a skilled embroideress.
Many Chinese now treat this holiday more like St. Valentine's day, with more traditional Western tokens of affection like roses and chocolates. I read a really cool twist on this in the China Daily article I linked to above. A Chinese man went to the florist for 11 roses for his sweetheart. Why 11, instead of the western traditional dozen? The odd number 11 he chose comes from a widely used four-character Chinese idiom "yī xīn yī yì", literally meaning "my one heart only for you; my one mind only of you." Eleven represents the two "ones" in that phrase, of course. A traditional Western romantic gift with a very traditional Chinese romantic twist - perfect!
Thoughts on marriage - you can stop reading now if you want to, except for you, Adam.
Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about our marriage and what has made it work for us for the past 15 years. When we got married at such a young age (21 & 22), I think many people were worried that it would not last. It has certainly not always been easy, especially in the early years. Fortunately, Adam and I are both very committed to making our marriage work and always have been. And marriage can be WORK at times. :0) There have definitely been peaks and valleys. Any couple of weenies can make it through the good times though, right? That's easy! But it takes tenacity to make it through the tough times and emerge from those valleys on the same side as your partner. Adam and I are both pretty stubborn and have strong ideas about things. Oh, and we are both always right. That can make things challenging when there is a disagreement (which is not completely unheard of). We have a policy that only one of us is allowed to be crazy at a time (and one of us usually is). This seems to work out pretty well for us. Last Friday, I was playing Eliana's "Oy, Baby!" DVD for her (think Jewish Baby Einstein), there is a song that goes, "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend..." I heard those words and thought 'That reminds me of our marriage'. At times, one of us needs to lead or one of us needs to follow, but most of the time, we are just walking beside each other.
Thanks for walking beside me the for the past 15 years, Adam! I know that the next 15 will be even better than the first!
一心一意
(yī xīn yī yì)
Love, Laura Beth
